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I might be said to be without a friend, or relative, in the world. He was another friend, and even a relative, of the "illustrious master." Have you heard him speak of late of any relative of mine or his, called Pecksniff?

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” I wonder if white men get asked the same question: do they find their choice in white women limiting? If I happen to find a white guy who shares the same values and there’s chemistry, sure! If I’m on a dating site where they ask you and I have to choose, I don’t pick white.” “Have you ever tried to date a white guy? “Actually, my longest relationship – two years – was with a white guy. But as a teenager – all I knew was that I was rebelling against my parents’ traditional ideas.

“Well, yes, it started out as a political decision but it has manifested into preference. I just don’t find white men that attractive anymore.” “Do you find that limiting? I would later learn how living in a society where positive or attractive images of brown men and women were marginalized or non-existent would affect who I thought was attractive.

White guys are invisible to Persian girls, arent they? Is there something Im not doing here, some subtle trick I dont know for liberating that ass? Either theres a secret to scoring with Persian girls, or I dont have a chance and never did. Informed opinions desired from either gender with relevant experience, please end my suffering.

Ive had my share of tough projects, extracted my share of Indian/Greek/Chinese girls out from under their daddys' noses, Im not completely unskilled when it comes to the more delicate points and imperialistic overtones of interethnic romance. Shes Western born and raised, avowed atheist and wouldnt touch a mosque with a ten foot pole so religion cant be the issue. I've never met any Persian girls, but if they're as gorgeous as my my male Persian friend is handsome, they must be knockouts.

Iran has a dress code for women, and rules about conduct in public are strict.

Unmarried couples who date or engage in hand-holding can find themselves on the wrong side of the law.

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They were starting to catch on to my astonishment and were all smiling. Instantly the woman’s finger was pointing in the air: “I have something to say about this! Like compared to Turkish guys, who are rough and they’re cheaters and they’re hard core—which is why I like them—[she winked] Persian men are like really nice and soft.

It was a Thursday night in Istanbul and I was sitting on a patio at a going away party with three Persian cousins: two men living in Istanbul for graduate school and a woman living there who works as a journalist. So it’s forbidden by law, informal dating when you’re not married. The men explained that when a woman gets married she decides on an amount of money that the man owes them if they get divorced. Also they’re graduating a lot more from university, to the extent that if a girl and boy are both applying to the same department at university, they’ve lowered the standards for the boys to try to even it out.

I didn’t want to turn playtime into work time but the opportunity seemed too ripe to relinquish. How often do we get to share a beer and actually try to understand each other? I told them that I was writing about dating cultures in different countries. But you know, everything forbidden is more interesting.” I asked how dating is different for them in Istanbul than it is back home and both men instantly replied that it was way easier to date back home in Iran. ” One said and laughed, but then added more seriously, “Maybe they feel more freely. But because they are so repressed, they go to extremes to compensate. They’re totally dressed up and made up and with the hair… They’ve got like three boyfriends, they’re always screwing around… They explained that the right of divorce is the man’s, but that most middle and upper class men sign a clause in their pre-nuptial agreement giving their wife the same right. The graduation rates are like 62 percent girls.” I walked away from this conversation a bit rattled and sad.

They agreed to interviews but definitely, absolutely did not want me to use their names; they said it could end up preventing them from re-entering Iran at all. When you’re in a closed place and you’re under pressure, you want to experience something that is illegal.” The other chimed in, “Yes, I have had 15 girlfriends and I’m only 30! But here, it’s much harder to get girls.” I asked if girls in Iran have sex before marriage and one of the men speculated that 10 or 15 years ago only 10 percent of girls would, but that now the percentage is probably closer to 90. Not sad for the Persian women, but rather that in my mind and in the general American imagination, we paint them as such helpless victims.

I was genuinely shocked, and tried to play it off like I wasn’t such an ignorant American thinking that Persian women were just bundled up virginal victims. While the laws in Iran are extremely stringent for woman, to think of them merely as victims of their government robs them of their agency.